Sunday, April 27, 2008
My Beloved Tree............!
Routine life, Routine days. After a while, it becomes dull. It was the same with me. Life should be happening. It should be intertwined with the routine and the unpredictable. Else, there is no fun.
Bored with the sameness, one day, I just ventured out. Not to any particular place, just out. No aim, no destination. Just to go where my feet takes me. And as I kept walking, I happened to end up in a garden. Lush green and colourful. Anyone would have fallen in love with that place. Such was the beauty of it, that you just could not take your eyes of it. Once there, all my frustration and irritation vanished. Vanished into thin air. It was as if, I was in some sort of magical spell. Slowly, I started exploring the garden. It got even more beautiful as I ventured deeper into it.
Flowers of various kinds. Plain white, some red, cute pink and what not. You name the colour and you find a flower of that colour there. It was a dreamland. A wonderful place to be at. And in midst of this garden there was a waterfall. Pure whilte water falling down with so much pressure from the rocks. The rocks black to the core. The contrast made it even more eye-catching. Beside it, was a tree, comlpetely covered with flowers and fruits. White flowers and orangish red fruits. The fruits grabbed your attention. Its colour made you feel that it was fiery and raging. But when you saw the flowers, you realised that beneath this rage, there was calm. There was a love for peace. But people tend to overlook the flowers. However, I loved this combination of fiery peace. Hahaha....That was something. A contradiction co-existing. It pleased me. It appealed to me. And I wanted it to be a part of my garden. I wanted it to beautify my life. So here I was, plucking at its fruits and flowers, trying to find a seed that I could take home and plant in my garden.
After trying hard for a long time, I was successful. I got a seed that may take shape of the tree later some time. So, with the tiny life in my hand, I set out towards my home.
My home had a garden of its own. Not very attractive, may be, but beautiful enough. And now with this tree, it would become the dream of every garden lover. I had promised myself that I would take such good care of this tree, that everyone would crave for a garden of my types.
Once there, I sowed the seed. Watered it. Every day I used to have a look at it, to know if it sprouted. To know, if the seed would see the world. After many unfruitful days, I saw it. I saw a tiny, delicate leaf peep out of the ground. As if afraid to face the world. Wondering if it could trust the world around to let it grow into a full fledged tree. With such doubts, it slowly took root. With passing days, it slowly grew with its head held high. And I felt proud to watch it grow. To believe, that I was a part of its growth.
Meanwhile, I overlooked the rest of the garden. I was so engrossed in taking care of this little baby of mine, that I forgot to care for other plants. Initially, I watered them and cared for them as I did for this new comer. But slowly as I saw my beloved tree grow, I wanted it to be the best part of my garden and I overlooked the others. Earlier I used to remove the weeds from the entire garden atleast once a week. But after planting this tree, the number of times I removed weeds grew lesser and lesser.
I did not bother about others. All I wanted is to have this tree. And with time, it grew. It grew to be the best. And anyone who had a look at my garden always said, that this was the best part of my garden. The part where this tree grew. My Beloved Tree!
And then, one day it blossomed. It bloomed with flowers and in a few days with fruits. It looked as beautiful as it had in dat magical garden. It drew everyone's attention. Its fruits just as fiery and its flowers as calming as I had seen there. Wow...! It was a wonderful sight. Everyday I got up and refreshed myself with its sight. And everyday I used to feel a new vigour within myself when I devoured its beauty with my eyes. It used to be the most wonderful moment of my day, of my life.
There were times when I stood by the tree, sat under its shelter resting assured that no trouble could touch me. Knowing that with it I could face any obstacle head on. Because, it inspired me by the way it grew. It taught me patience. It taught me determination. It taught me to face troubles without flinching. I used to sit and talk with it. People might have considered me mad, because as it is obvious, trees do not speak. Yet, I spent time speaking to it. Little did others know, that it had its own way of speaking. It spoke to me, yes, it did. Through the rustling of its leaves, through the blooming of the flowers, through the fruits that ripened. It spoke to me continuously, but no one ever realised this fact. And I did not care about it.
The days passed and everyday I used to feel that the tree was new in my garden. That it had never been there before. But suddenly one day, I could feel its lush green colour fade. I realised that the tree that used to be ladden with flowers and fruits are somehow, a bit barren. I felt that it was just my imagination. I consoled myself by saying that it was purely my feeling and that tomorrow it would be better. And tomorrow came and went. But still there was no improvement. If anything, it only became worse.
That is when, I looked around trying to find an answer, as to what went wrong. Why my tree is not blossoming as it used to. And I realised, I saw for the first time in many days, that my garden was no more beautiful. While tending for this loving tree of mine, I overlooked all the other plants in my garden and so now, my garden was full of weeds. Full of unwanted outgrowths. And they were sucking away life from my plants, my garden.
And now, the weeds had grown so much that somewhere beneath it reached my beloved tree. It sucked away life from it. The tree that faced all storms and rains with its head held high, was now weak. It now did not have any beauty left to it. All the unwanted and unnecessary things had eaten up my tree. It had made it hollow. That is when I realised my carelessness. Till then it never registered in my mind that I was damaging my garden. That the extra care and love that I was raining on my tree was actually gonna harm it. That is when I realised that all the while, I was neglecting the rest of my garden. And for me to realise this, my beloved tree had to be harmed. Till then I was blind. Blind with, I dunno what.....!
Everyone said, it was too late. They said that I could not save my garden. But adamant as I am, I wanted to try. I did not want to accept defeat without trying. Without giving myself another chance. If I accepted defeat then, I could never have forgiven myself . So there, I started all over again. I removed the weeds from the entire garden. I had to do it almost twice a week. I had to put in extra efforts. But then it was my mistake. Aint it? So I had to pay for it. And I did not mind the work. All I wanted to do is, Save My Garden. And yippee.....! after almost 2-3 months of continuous effort I saved it.
However, my tree had lost its charm. It did not give me another chance. With every passing day,. I was losing it. It was almost completely rotting. I could not help but cry. My beloved tree, for whom I was trying so much, there seemed no way to save it. What could I do? What would help me save it? I only had that single Question circling my mind always. Even now, I wonder, if there is something that could save it.
I tried every rule of the book and otherwise, but all in vain. There seemed to be a little improvement. The tree started blooming again. But its colour had faded a bit. The fruits were hollow within. The rot existed even when outwardly, the tree seemed fine. I tried giving it the best environment, the best fertilizers. But my efforts were not paid for. The tree had, slowly and gradually, stopped supporting my efforts. It was not going to give me a second chance, it seemed.
Some mistakes are such, I believe, you never get a chance to rectify. You have to be pefect right from the beginning. You can not afford to commit a mistake. I learnt it that day, in a hard way.
Even now, I am confused. I do not know what to do. I can not stand to see the tree rotting away like this. Life was oozing away from the tree. The same tree which I wanted to be the best, today it was dying a slow death. And I feel helpless. There is no way I can save it. What do I do in such a situation? Only one thought strikes me. Shall I uproot it? Shall I chop it off, in such a way that it never lives again? That it never sees the light of day? But how shall I do it? I can not do it myself! I do not have enough guts to break away from it. It seems I would die along with it. What can be done?
There seems to be no other way. I can not see any. Finally, I guess, I have to chop it off. To cut it off completely from my life. But still I keep a seed with me. With a hope to plant it some other place in my garden. To still have it in my life. And this time around, I promise to take care of the entire garden, not my beloved tree alone. I hope I am successful. I hope it blooms in my life again.
Ha....! Thats the optimist in me. Never dies. Always keeps that ray of light in sight. Never ready to accept defeat. May be it will help me some time.
What may I do to save my tree? Can anyone tell me?? Help me out.
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